This morning I woke up normal:

Jala netti (Cleanse and balance subtle energies in mind)
Abhyanga Snehana (Self oil massage to promote self love, to liquify ama to return to my digestion to be released, build ojas. Use coconut oil/sesame/essential oils)
Drank pure juice I prepared
Walked the beach at the ocean, swam, asanas and pranayama.
Went to a the health store and the fruit and vegetable store, Came home and met with friend, prepared mung bean broth (easy on the digestion, pitta pacifying full of nutrients) and more fresh juice (prana, nutrients)
And now I am going to meet with more friends… and then… go to a ceremony.
A day normal… but special.
My Prana is very high today and I can hardly contain it- but not in a bad way.
Today when I was swimming in the ocean- a butterfly flew over my head. I knew this was a sign that tonight is going to be transformational.

The people all around are so happy- my neighbour without being asked or asking me before tied my box to my scooter, another friend gave me a box of lemon tea
To follow the path of an ancient science in modern times is relevant and irrelevant.
Some things are my truth- and those things I follow and use to help keep me healthy and happy- and others, separate me from the world. The balance is the key.

This afternoon I am going to a ceremony lead by a Shaman who studied in Peru. I will know more information tomorrow- but she has been on this path for more than 10 years and is trusted by a good friend of mine here.  I will be using plant as medicine- to help me understand myself further- look within deeper and connect with those things wanting to connect with me.
I am ready and ready to be responsible and mindful in the actions I will need to take next.

I am not scared- because all darkness and undesirable things that I may manifest this evening- are within me every day. They have been within me – the last times I have entered into the Spirit world… and each time the spirit world, just always me to know beauty, love and opportunity to be closer to myself to- to God.

The fears that are mine in day to day life- are not of darkness- they are of rejection, being hurt emotionally, not being good enough, smart enough, not doing enough for society- for myself- for wasting the beautiful life that I have been given.
I enjoy every day.
And I stress every day.
And I de-stress every day.
And I go to sleep- and with the grace of God I awake again and I live another day, and learn new things and have new human and life experiences.

Plant medicine- is unlike other medicine, as the affects on your body and mind chemistry- always you to go past the mind and pay attention to the other things around you- wanting to connect with you, wanting to answer you, wanting to show and move you… and I am very excited to be moved again… although I am carefree in many aspects, I barricade myself from many things in a way of protection and this is has lead me to be very independent, very mindful and allowing myself to know myself-  I share my life with people, moments at a time but at the end of the day. But I choose solitude a lot. I always have… maybe I always will. I sleep alone. I wake up alone.
I am enjoying this time of solitude and self awareness- but I keep wondering if I’m suppose to be someone partners… and how I am going to meet someone who I really respect and really respects me if I guard myself so much… maybe this is my biggest issue now.

I want to be in love.
I want to be a dedicated student that knows how to study and focus and memorize information in a way that I will be able to transcend the information to help myself and others.
I want to be motivated to live in the present moment- always and to learn and study from other healers, guides and plants. I live in the physical realm, but we are allowed to connect to the spiritual and energetic realms around us- I know this- I have travelled before- and I love traveling… the journey is always unknown- but the destination is always home. It’s always in my heart- in my seat of consciousness. My heart-that is so big and bleeds so many times a day at so many thoughts and always cries in joy.

Why I am being called to this ceremony tonight- I will know tomorrow and the following days-  but I have been called. And I have answered yes… I surrender to you and the teachings that I will be learning. The ceremony will end around 10 or so in the morning and I hope to be able to process what happens over the next days and share this.