Well, this is going to be short and sweet as I am wanting to get to bed tonight.
I just wanted to make a note so I remember this.
Today is Sunday- I worked all weekend so it never really felt like Sunday but I came home after work,made supper (black beans and whole wheat nacho chips), did my laundry and then decided I needed to make time for an Abhyanga massage tonight.
The past days I have been having ways of anxiety, worried about things more so than I normally would- which is lower vibrational, tamasic style thoughts… and well, it makes a lot of sence since I am choosing a lot of Tamasic activities.
On Monday we had it off- so had some fresh air actually, a bonfire with a friend outside… it was beautiful out (-15) and we cooked a buncha of vegetables! That night some friends invited me for Supper- so I had a couple cesars with them and bar, fish n chips (first fish/meat I had since September.)  Then on Tuesday, after work- II had had a dinner date and we made Mexican Mole and had a few Mezcals and ended with a glass of wine and movie… and kinda of late for a work night. The next night, I made supper than had a hang out with another friend and we shared a beer and had some tea and wine and kinda of a late night, the next night- I went out to the bar with some friends and we were celebrating and had a dance party and I have several drinks- and it was kind of a late night, then the next night after work- I had another hang out, nacho night this time and I had another beer- and it was another late night- THEN last night, I needed to be by myself. And I was able to reflect and get to bed early. This morning it was so hard to wake up- even though I had gone to bed earlier finally- I think I was pushing myself this past week… my school got pushed to the side a bit- but I really wanted to have some of these supper, yoga, hang outs with my friends and  well I’m happy about it- but a few things have happened over the past couple of days were I was more anxious than normal- and more emotional than normal. So- it reminds me, that drinking- although fun and VERY DELICIOUS- is not meant to be part of my weekly routine, especially when it involves sacrificing my sleep. I really like having 8 hours of sleep, and now especially working and studying- 8 hours is really handy and this past week- I did not give myself that. So well, there was good things I did for myself and I was eating yummy and plant based foods and with spicy teas and all that jazz- yoga and meditation… but not managing my digestion very well, or my sleep.
My one friend made me a beautiful silver necklace yesterday with three gem stones on it- to remind me of the 3 pillars of life. What a cool present. Super thoughtful.

Well- tonight as I said I wanted to give myself a massage, but I also wanted to just watch funny videos and not really in the mood for meditation, so I decided to give myself the massage and then finish watching the romantic comedy i started the other night- while the oil sat for 15 minutes and then I had a bath and watched the rest in a little bit of hot water- it was fun! The first time that I had ever done that. I think that I am learning a lot of about how I can and will always be able to follow self care as well as help others- who are living a more modern, tamasic lifestyle. The trick I think is not being perfect or rigid- it’s finding what works for you. Baby steps… and enjoying yourself. So if you want to have a Yoga class- and then had some beers and nachos after- okay cool- it’s still good you did yoga. And if you want to watch your fave shows- why not do it, while also giving yourself a massage and letting it absorb into your skin, while you laugh your ass off-  you are still receiving a lot of the benefits of the massage.

Anyways- I look forward to getting back into my more Sattvic lifestyle- because I feel the best in it- with that said, I really am enjoying a lot of whats happening here too- and the people I’m experiencing it with.

Always learning about myself, through my own experiences with the world.