What a great weekend full of inspiration.

It’s now Sunday night and I am sitting here in my house… I enjoyed my weekend. It was inspiring. And now I am sitting here in the peace of my house and want to feel inner peace- but I feel although I fuzzy drink that was just shook up.  My heart and my head aren’t acting as one- they are both asking questions. They are both talking to loud and at the same time- so there is no purity…no serenity.
Why, what happened? Manifestation happened… my hearts desires happened. The first time my heart desired something outside of my normal routine in awhile, so I forgot how quick things manifest. It’s so quick. Within a week…

This weekend was about me… about friends, about leaving my house, about learning something- about Yoga, about practice, about soul yoga…about connection, energy, love, good food, fun.

Life is easy, it’s best not to over complicate it with the dramas of the mind.
Sometimes I worry about my relationships in my life. I feel although I am not present enough- and other times I feel although it is fine. Sometimes I don’t talk to my friends for months, but we still have a connection- and when we are together, we feed off each other and we share and talk and have fun. Sometimes with my partner I feel although we don’t share in enough activities and if we did, we would be at even a more profound level of love than we are at now, sometimes I feel although we are just what we are and think that acceptance is key. There are so many ways to do everything in life. Always one can work harder, try harder, be more creative, study more, be healthier, be more fun, more sensual, more giving, more caring- but where is the line to know whether or not you need to give more or give less. How does one know what they are suppose to worry about or put energy into life. How does one know ones dharma? How does one truly learn how to completely trust god and the Universe… and Surrender.

Last night I was talking with a Yogi who has Surrendered to Yoga. Yoga is his life. He has known this for some years now and he works hard to manifest a physical manifestation of his love of yoga and a way to share Yoga with others… he works hard, he maintains his practice and he is fulfilling his dharma. He has acceptance of his life and he has faith in the universe. He realizes where he is in life as far as a timeline for work, spirituality and family. I’m sure he has days of confusion and thoughts of questioning about certain things, at certain moments… but he in on his way to fulfilling his dharma. Life is happening quickly for him and the Universe is abundant for him.

He asked me many questions yesterday- which probably is what began to stir my pot…as well as my intention after practice yesterday. He asked me questions about my relationship, my dharma, my dreams… and so I need to realize this… I need to really figure this out so that the Universe can connect with my mind and heart in a clear picture and begin to manifest what is truly my dharma.

Things I know- I know I am an old soul… I know that I am being called to Yoga and now to Ayurveda for a reason… a personal journey, but also without a doubt a journey that I am suppose to share, to share the light of these practices with others. I know that I am a compassionate soul, that feels best when helping others and being connected… being connected with god… through conversation with people, through meditation, through being in nature. I know that I was and am a holistic healer…but am only now beginning to trust my instincts and heart and realize the power that we all hold within ourselves.

I know only when I begin to serve others will I truly feel happy. Right now I am finally beginning to share some of the things I have been studying about for the past years… I have learned a lot in the past years… MANY things about many things. My idea of the world is ever changing… the world, my self… God… purpose of life.

My purpose of life- is to fulfill my dharma.. what is this? I don’t know exactly yet- but right now it is to study Ayurveda and to continue studying yoga and about the body. To learn through living life and experience… not by reading from a book. Anybody can read a book… some minds can regurgitate the information back so precise, it’s as if they wrote the words… I don’t have this mind. I really can only speak about things I really know or really care about. Of course, within the shallowness of day-to-day small talk, or making conversation my ego will say certain things to contribute to the conversation, strike a reaction or feed someones ego…but these conversations are now fewer and fewer… which is perhaps, now why I don’t have the social capacity that I once did. It’s not that I don’t like listening to others talk, and to see how they see the world and express themselves, it’s just that I don’t like the feeling of needing to say something that I don’t find true- just to be polite…but I think this is just a phase that I am going through, and by understanding myself and the world more- I will be able to approach all situations with joy and honesty.

We are all living our lives the best that we can in this most… with the knowledge that we have today, with the story that has been told to us. Only though meditation and personal practice will we have the opportunity to get past the drama of our minds and lives and begin to allow truth to enter our hearts…which is directly related to our minds.
Our hearts…not just the physical muscle… but I have no words to describe what I mean at this very moment. (Kind of like a center point or key to our true potential, but not in the physical world or body- but our energetic body- which is just a real as our physical body…and I am now learning to recognize and Acknowledge.)

One thing for sure- you can’t fake being Spiritual. You can’t pretend to understand things you don’t. You can’t talk about things yet- you have never experiences. You can’t be a successful fake person or bad person. You need to have faith, need to have patience, need to give gratitude, need to take care of your body, mind and soul, need to be kind, need to be wise…

Yogi talk one:  Wayne Kressner: He had a great way to explain about Yoga. The reason for asanas and the 8 limbs of yoga. He also had some really interesting things to say about the 6 series of Ashtanga yoga and also- about eh 7 series… which is family life. Having a wife and a kid… He said it was easy, being peaceful and happy and practicing Yoga every day before, but now he is pushed more and has someone pushing him more and his ego and also maybe he doesn’t have as much sleep now as he did before. He said, Jesus and Buddha never has this 7th series of life. Pretty interesting. He had a very good practice, he gave a free talk and yoga asana demonstration at the Yoga Loft. I have no doubt that it would be beneficial to go to his workshop this weekend or his Mysore Club- but unfortunately, it’s more expensive than I should be putting into yoga right now. But I think tomorrow I will enroll for the yoga class here in Puerto Aventuras.

Yogi class two: Akenara: We did a Vinyassa class, of a sequence that he designed and has been working on and sharing for a little while now. Very good. It was my first time having class from his since maybe in June or July last year- but previously, I had been going to his class at least once or twice a week for almost a year. I really respect him as a teacher and he helped me a lot as a beginner- to now someone who is a new type of beginner. But when I started my classes with him, it was forgetting to breathe, it was hard to hold downward dog for all his counts and I would be shaking holding my postures as well as hardly ever understanding the instructions in Spanish. Yesterday, I was sweating profusely, but so was many people in the class… I still had problems following some instructions as it’s challenging to understand Spanish and new directions for something when I am working on concentrating on my pose and working towards being so internal. Thankfully, he recognized that and would often demonstrate the pose in front of me, being the only non Spanish speaking person in the class. Today my body is sore- it was also my first yoga class since my last one in Puerto before Christmas… time to change that. I’m missing class! I’m missing having a teacher… someone to adjust me. The teacher in Puerto doesn’t do adjustments, but at least she should push me harder than I am pushing myself these days.
But well I could ramble and write for hours- but I just needed to share some of my experiences this weekend. Oh and also this- dance.

Dance is such a beautiful and fun thing for people to connect. Yesturday after the Yoga four of us went to the beach- and we met another yogi there. We shared a vegetarian meal, shared in talk and laughter and conversation about our lives and goals and dreams and truths. Someone asked how long my girlfriend and I had known each other- it seems forever, but we have actually only maybe hung out 7 times before- yet, we have shared many things already. It was the first time that my friend and I hung out with the other 4 people as well- but we just joined together effortlessly. We danced, took turns dancing with each other… at one moment, got almost everyone in the Pulqueria to stand up and join in a group dance with us…

When listening to music- and when moving your body to the movement- it’s an expression and when you are sharing this expression with someone else and the flow works, and you are able effortlessly move together, in steps and spins … it’s very fun. I would even say for me, it’s exciting and exhilarating. I didn’t have a lot of two people dancing while growing up- yes occasionally there was polka and most often, two step- but even just the simple steps of two steps- was often difficult for many men to master and often I was leading, which steals some of the fun of having someone know what they are doing, passionate about what they are doing- sharing with you. Last night I shared in dance with two very different style of dancers- and both very enjoyable… because they were good people, kind people, patient people… not worries about if we looked cool or if I was a good dancer… they wanted to share with me. I think there is also a lot of energy exchange that happens with dancing- as it’s two people together, often hands/palms involved and therefore, you are connected physically but your energy is also mixing… I felt certain energetic sensations last night, that I wish I had the nerve to ask my dancing partner if they felt it… but maybe I will just continue to explore this the next time I dance and am with people… to bring awareness to this. Anyways, I am so grateful for a weekend full of insight, inspiration, truth and good, positive energy from all involved. I really manifested have a good human connection like I did this weekend… and I hope that it’s not that long again, before I can enjoy another night of conversation, music and dance.